Sunday, May 29, 2011

N is for Normal

What is normal in the Alzheimer's world? Normal is apparently whatever world the person is in at any given moment. And apparently it isn't necessarily what is normal to the rest of us.

For my mother, it is normal to wander around two hallways and a communal area. It is normal to wear diapers, excuse me, briefs. It is normal for people to not be able to talk. It is normal to hear to have lengthy conversations with my father, even though he is essentially unconscious in a hospital twenty miles away. It is normal to seek the organ and to prepare for a church service.

It is not normal to me, though. And I often have these selfish moments where I can't handle the abnormal side of life with Mom. I struggle to remember that being normal is relative. It now needs to be normal to me to ride this strange roller coaster with Mom. My normal excursions with her, shopping, driving, eating, gardening, etc., just cannot happen anymore. They have translated from normal activity to normal memories. She is happy in her world. I am happy for her, but I am still struggling with it. Perhaps it would have been easier had my father not fallen ill around the same time, but I am not so sure about that.

1 comment:

  1. Normal for my grandmother is babbling incoherently while the look on her face says that she makes perfect sense.