O is for Opinions

Everyone has an opinion, and everyone is entitled to their opinions. And I have had plenty of them shared with me as I have dealt with Mom's illness.

My first "shocking" statement to people was when I said I hoped she ran away from home. I did not wish my mother harm, but I knew it was a good way to finally get her some help. The process of getting a diagnosis and some help was quite difficult, but I knew this step would be a big one. Sure enough, she ran away in the middle of the night. My father had them take her to the hospital, where she was determined to have not been harmed. And we were able to get her some help. (I choose to ignore that it was the subsequent process of getting paperwork done during which my father fell and hit his head, which led to his subdural hematoma and persistent unconsciousness. The brain bleed is not necessarily related.)

There were numerous opinions about where to place her. We had our hands tied for her first placement, as she was combative and only qualified for a few facilities. We knew where we wanted her to go. People had positive and negatives for both. But we feel that we have her in a good place now.

I get opinions as to my frequency of visiting and how we are handling things. Usually they are positive, but not always.

I admit that sometimes I have had opinions about how people have treated their parents in the declining years. I don't often share them with the person, unless it seems that someone is in some kind of danger or a really bad way. Or perhaps I wait until that person asks for my opinion. And then it must be carefully delivered. I try to treat others the way that I want to be treated.